


Is This Crazy?

by theunexpectedlyattractivehobbit



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Poetry, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 14:44:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11899926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theunexpectedlyattractivehobbit/pseuds/theunexpectedlyattractivehobbit
Summary: Levi has fallen hard for Eren, but his sense of duty comes before anything else and he chooses to keep his feelings for the brunet written poetically in his private journal. When said journal turns up missing it leads to an unexpected ending for, Levi.





	1. Am I Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote this story February of last year, but I didn't have an account then- nor did I know about this site.

IT'S EARLY, the sun hasn't even risen when Levi Ackerman sheds his covers. Every dorm is sound asleep and no one is awake to bother him. The first morning of February shakes Levi with a nervous stomach, slowly forcing him back under the covers. But he is humanity's strongest and won't allow himself to be defeated by his own exaggerated worries.

His callous fingers dig beneath the mattress for a journal, bound cover to cover, dark and hard. Removing a slip of torn paper, Levi finds an incomplete page, that many alike follow. Eyes, the same color as a cloudless summer's sky, pace down the parchment as his pen forms different combinations of the alphabet.

**_\- perhaps it is wrong. Perhaps I am wrong, but how could the thing that makes you restless at night and ecstatic each day not be right? The answer eludes me._ **

The pen tip taps, leaving ink blotches in the page corner. Levi groans, unsure of whether his next paragraph or chapter should come next. This indecision taunts him, disproving the current belief that he is brilliant among men. In a chance to find some vague recollection of his inspiration, Levi showers briefly.

When he emerges, coated in steam and hot beads of water, Levi tucks back under his blankets and begins writing again.

_**For When the World Seems Against You** _

_**By your side I am Eren, and by your side, I'll always be. I swore to it. . . or do you not remember? Though others may persecute you, lie about you, even threaten your very (precious) life, I will protect you Eren. So-** _

"Captain, good morning," Eren sheepishly calls as he opens the door. In an instant, Levi's heart begins charging, pounding painfully with each step the brunette takes toward him. Eren's perfectly tanned skin practically glows in the dawning sunlight, and his young, hard features settle in a groggy expression, yet he attempts a smile. Sea meets sky as Eren's ocean filled eyes meet Levi's, creating a soulful storm.

"Next time, knock," Levi snaps in an effort to maintain his calm. 

Eren retreats a foot or two but acts as though his captain's bark hadn't phased him. "Y-yes. Sorry, sir."

"What is it exactly that you need?"

"Commander Erwin wants to see you in his office."

"Is that all?"

Nod.

"Tell him I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Yes, captain."

Levi lets out a hard sigh as if he had been holding his breath the entire time, which he probably had. A few minutes of quiet, metal scratching paper the only sound, until Levi is comfortable enough to dress.

The day continued without a single hitch. Erwin only wanted to speak of tactics and strategies with Levi, something that had never interested him but found he had a gift for. By evening the callus of Levi's ring finger throbbed from the pressure of his pen against it half the morning and all afternoon. The stack of untouched papers on the right of his desk had finally been moved to the left by seven o'clock pm.

It's seven-fifteen when Levi strolls into the mess hall, only wishing to brew a cup of tea. Yet he wonders if his Eren is here. Not my Eren. Just Eren, Levi reminds himself. His icy gaze creeps over every table until he finds the fiery brunette. Luckily no one notices when Levi's features soften for the teen, smiling and flashing those magnificent eyes, the color of ocean waves. In those waves, Levi would happily drown. Eren could be his ocean, and although he would be drowning, he'd take in more and more water.

There's a temptation clouding Levi's judgment. A force begins pulling him to the table. But how strange would it look if he sat beside Eren with no warning or reason? Creepy and strange. And the last thing Levi wants Eren to think of him is that he's a creepy old man. Before Levi comes into even an arm's length of Eren, he turns into the kitchen where he boils some water and then brews his tea.

With nothing planned for the eight hours when he's supposed to be sleeping, Levi writes. He scribbles a few sentences and then sips his tea. He pours out a few words onto the paper and then sips his tea. This cycle continues until leaves pool at the cup's base. Having finished the twenty-fourth chapter- each chapter is only two or three pages- Levi tucks under the covers and nods off a couple hours before waking.

Insomnia has always plagued Levi, and while Eren isn't the direct cause, he definitely is a factor. Three hours at most was all the captain could ever sleep, but now, after having fallen so hard for the brunette, two hours, if he's lucky. But also since meeting Eren nightmares no longer haunt him. Well. . . not as often.

Solemnly glancing back to the beginning, he reads what he has written.

_**For When the Silence Hurts** _

_**I keep my lips shut tight, stay quiet, and drink in the sounds of others because when you talk I can only listen. Never once did I intend for my calm to pain you Eren. If it has, then understand the only way I can be near you is this way. Steady breaths and vulgar language keep me from an erratic heart and sweet nothings; ice glazed glances and emotionless expressions prevent soft, melted features; all things I do I must hide for the love of you.** _

His pen scratches the paper as his eyes drape to half-mast, slowly closing the book.

Suffocating. This feeling is suffocating. Levi's eyelids refuse to open as if they've been sewed shut. He clasps the cloth covering his chest, tearing the fabric, digging pass the skin. All an effort to make this lung-crushing- literally- breathtaking sensation cease.

Pain.

Chills.

Anguish.

All this and more cloaks Levi in an electric veil, sending shocks of guilt throughout his body, every nerve-ending fried.

Then it stops as quickly as it came. Fingertips run along, just grazing Levi's eyelids before he opens them. His breath returns and a sigh runs its course when he finds Eren lying beside him on a bed of lilies of the valley, ranunculus dropping from the snow white sky. The air is crisp with a sweet dew, soothing the sore fizz in Levi's throat from his earlier hyperventilating. It's quiet, solemn, a stillness that could never really exist.

Eren lifts his hand and rests his fingertips just below Levi's ear. Levi closes his eyes for a moment, savoring the brunette's touch. His skin is burning hot, static, like lighting. Down his nails rake, gently, stopping at the base of Levi's neck where his pulse hammers. For so many years he has wished for the tender feel of Eren, and now, finally, contact.

Where his touch lingers, Eren presses his lips. He begins nibbling, tasting, and Levi can't help but let out a moan. The captain is straddled by his subordinate, and both can sense the tension between them. The pent up, restrained desire for each other's taste, feel, and being.

Levi squirms as Eren sinks his teeth in deeper, sucking the flesh around the heated area. He's going to give me a hickey! Even with his cravat, the sweet spot Eren's mouthing would be visible, and Levi refuses to be questioned about his late night affairs by Hangi- or anyone else. "Eren. . . s-stop," he rasps. Deeper Eren's teeth dig pass broken skin. Blood trickles over the flowers, soon Levi's entire world is red with his own blood. "Eren!" The brunette ignores him, biting hard, hitting bone! Levi gasps and then shrieks in anguish.

How could Eren do this? Why would he do this? Levi struggles to flee from Eren, but he is slowly sinking, the lilies swallowing him as Eren feast on his captain's flesh. The awful, suffocating sensation returns. Again Levi tries for air, tries to call out for help because he knows he cannot escape by his powers alone. But no one comes because no one can. . . because this is his own piece of hell.

Levi wakes, panting, tears rolling down his cheeks, unsure of what happened. He rests his temples in his hands, a sick feeling constricting his stomach. Burning bile rises in his throat and Levi darts into his private bathroom, vomiting his small supper into the toilet. Shaking, he gazes into the mirror, sickened again, but by the man staring back at him.

What the hell is wrong with you? Why Eren? Pacing circles in the bathroom, occasionally running his hands through his hair, taking deep breaths, Levi ponders his feeling towards Eren. How had he come to love the brunette so much? Would Eren react calmly if Levi told him of his affection? Probably not. Eren never really reacted calmly to anything. But Levi can try and understand why.

Eren is only a teenager, and he's been deemed humanity's last hope. Like Levi he's been through traumatic experiences, both have witnessed their mother's death, the difference being Eren blames himself; both have watched their comrades fall to the titans; both are seen as beacons of hope for mankind. So Levi can try to understand Eren, and he can try to help, there's only so much he can do, though. Eren is scared, angry, confused, and so was I. . . Actually, I guess I still am.

Levi finds his journal sprawled out under the blanket. He places the book and his pen in hands and begins his newest chapter.

_**For When Nothings Seems to Make Sense** _

_**I want to be next to you, holding you in my arms if you wake up at 4:36 am. I would whisper, "Go back to sleep." I would kiss your soft lips; I would hold you tight; I would keep you safe and warm. And as you drift off to sleep, I would close my eyes and smile because everything I could ever want and need would be in my embrace. Do you understand that Eren?** _

_**Love is running your fingers over the cracks in someone's heart and soul, while looking into their eyes with a smile that says, "I'm staying". Or this?** _

_**It's hard to wait for something you know may never happen, but it's even harder to give up when it's everything you want. Or even this? These are how I feel about you Eren. This is loving you. It's the most confusing, clear, painful, wonderful experience of my life. And there's nothing I would change about it or you.** _


	2. Are You Crazy

EREN WANDERS THE HALLS, searching for Captain Levi. No one has seen him this morning, and, with everyone aware of his insomnia, they thought it strange for someone not to have ran into him by now. Eren decided to check up on his captain. Maybe he's sleeping, Eren thought. If I could hardly sleep, I'd take every second of it that I could get.

Slowly, Eren reaches for the knob leading to Levi's room. The door opens to reveal Levi sound asleep. Eren smiles softly, stepping closer to the man, and finds himself ghosting his knuckles against Levi's cheek. Levi turns and takes part of the blankets with him, exposing one of his legs. A bare, unclothed leg. Does that mean. . . Eren's eyes follow from the ankle to thigh, and anchors on one of Levi's firm, round cheeks.

Am I drooling? Eren wonders, quick to cover his eyes. In truth, he wants to continue, wants to look Levi up and down, study his raw, rugged sex appeal. But does he feel the same towards me? Of course, he doesn't. He probably thinks of me as an unstable masochistic, with poor cleaning skills. To me, though, he's perfect.

The captain is safe and sound so Eren can leave in comforting knowledge, but not before he notices a small journal lying beside the bed. Seeing no downside, Eren picks up the item, and a page has been badly crinkled. Captain won't like this. He opens the book and begins smoothing out the paper. It's not on purpose when green waves wash over written words.

**_\- I wish I could explain your eyes, and how the sound of your voice gives me butterflies. How your smile makes my heart skip a beat and how every time I'm with you I feel so complete. Ever since I met you, Eren, no one else is worth thinking about._ **

Eren shakes, not fearfully, but dizzily. In all his life he never could have dreamt that Captain Levi could feel this way about him. Him.

A suicidal teen with anger issues and that is also a titan. A titan. Eren also thought he could never become the thing he hated most in this world. But he had. Not by his own hand, but by his father's. And while this may seem like a curse, a burden, too many, to Eren it was living, breathing hope.

Frantically, Eren flips through the pages, skimming them each. He stops, slamming the little journal shut as Levi stretches, yawns, and begins to wake. Quietly and quickly, the brunette retreats to his room. The book in his hands.

LEVI TURNS TO THE DOOR, his foggy sight focusing on its handle. Maybe he had only imagined the tap, tap, tap of boots in his quarters. Like yesterday, he sheds the blankets, showers, and then dresses before heading to the mess hall. All food has been claimed by the time he gets there. Hangi waves him over to a table, every seat taken except one. He glances around at their faces. Armin, Mikasa, Connie, Sasha, Jean, and- of course- Hangi. But where's Eren? Levi thinks, showing no actual signs of worry or curiosity. Did he ever, though?

Hangi grins before sliding a small plate of food towards him. "I figured you were sleeping," she says a bit too happy. "So I saved some for you. You're welcome." Hangi chuckles softly. Why? Because she's happy to know Levi got the sleep he deserves, the sleep he needs. For years she's been trying to come up with a solution, some way to help him slumber, but so far, all her attempts have failed. Although now she is curious. What had given him the psychological peace? An investigation is in order, she decides.

"Levi, I have to ask: What caused this sudden change in your sleeping habit?" The captain sipped from his teacup (Hangi had brewed some green tea to go along with his bread and beans) then kept his gaze set on its rim. "How am I supposed to know? I'm not even sure why I have insomnia in the first place." Honestly, he didn't know. Hangi had plenty of theories to pull out of her ass, but Levi couldn't seem to believe a single one.

"That seems odd. There has to be a source. Levi, would you mind if I ran a few tests?"

"Yes, a lot actually. This is my own issue. Not yours. I'd appreciate if you kept your nose out of it."

"But I was only trying to help, and satisfy my own curiosity of course." Hangi shrugs, not feeling guilty about admitting to her own desire.

"If I need, I'll tell you." Levi stands, the cup clutched. He leaves the mess hall without another word, leaving his squad- and friend- behind.

Dammit. I acted too harsh back there. Hangi did piss me off, but she did only want to help me. I can't apologize. Not directly. If I caught her a titan, would that be good enough? No. I'm not sacrificing more men than need be just so she can have a new toy. Agreeing to her test would be another option, however. . . Levi crashes into someone. Someone taller, someone cloaked in a raw, earthy scent, someone he was actually trying to avoid at the moment.

Eren stumbles back a few feet but doesn't topple over. "I'm sorry," he rushes out. "Oh, captain. . . I. . ." Levi tilts his head, arms crossed over his chest, trying to assume a hard, closed off position. But in actuality, he just wants to melt in Eren's embrace and breathe in that earthy musk. "You what?"

"I. . . I didn't realize it was you." But he had. What Eren meant to say was, "Oh, captain, I love you too." Then plant a big, fat wet one, right on Levi's lips.

Levi stalks away saying, "Be more careful, Eren." When he reaches the sanctity of his bedroom Levi throws the blankets from his bed, expecting to find his journal. It's not here, he slowly panics. The captain crouches, checking for it beneath his bed. Not here either. There's a bit of blood boiling for the thief, a bulge in his throat for the consequences, and bile rising in his sternum for the fear.

His search is frantic, reckless, tearing everything down or apart. Nothing. And now I have this mess. Levi cleans the disaster of books, clothing, furniture, and anything else that wasn't nailed down. He is left scared, yes, scared. Levi rubs his temples as he paces about the small, open space. Who has it? How should I kill them? Will they show Eren? Of course. Will they show everyone? Probably. Is my reputation, and possibly life, ruined? Without a doubt. The sweat returned first, not long after came the pains in his stomach, and the building, acidic bile only worsened.

The captain laid still on his back, the blankets bunched to the side. I might as well let Hangi run her experiments. I won't have any dignity soon anyway. Levi lumbers to the door, making his way to Hangi's office. She spends most of her time there, often falling asleep at her desk. When he enters her domain she is already waiting for him. Creepy. "I knew you'd give in sooner or later," she states slowly, grinning eerily. "Thank the walls it was sooner." A chair glides into view and Hangi pats its seat. "Come sit." Levi does as she commands, now waiting for further instructions.

"I'll start by asking some questions. First: How long have you had insomnia?" Hangi radiates, bouncing slightly in her seat as she readies her pen to her notebook. "As long as I can remember. I've never been able to get a good night's sleep." She jots down a few keywords. "All right. How many hours do you typically sleep?"

"Two to three."

"Was it always so few?"

"No. At first, it was only six. After being abandoned in the underground it was four. Once I met Farland and Isabelle, I gained another hour. But after they passed it was three. And it's been that way until recently."

"How recent?" That question he didn't want to answer. He didn't want to admit it was shortly after meeting Eren. It didn't take a genius like Hangi to connect the dots on that one. Levi was never one to lie, but Hangi was never one to keep her calm for long. He trusted Hangi, trusted her with his life, just not with this secret.

"A few months ago." The answer came slowly, maybe even slurred. No. Levi never slurred his words. "A few as in what? Three?" He nods. "Three months ago the Scout Regiment gained full custody of Eren." Levi doesn't like where this is going. The ominous, unsettling feeling that comes with each expedition is consuming him now. Again come the pains, the bile, but he manages to keep the cold sweat from glossing over him. "Tell me, Levi," Hangi starts sweetly, pressing her fist to her cheek and crossing her legs, "why would Eren be linked to your insomnia?" No way out. I can't leave, that'll confirm her theory. I can't interrupt her either. There is no way to handle this that will prevent her from knowing. But I have to escape. There is no escape.

"Is it because-" Here it comes. Am I sure I can't just run? Run far and fast. "-you-" One word closer now. "-love-" Oh god! "-Eren?" There it is. She has asked the question Levi never wanted to hear.

A long pause. His silence a confirmation. Levi twines his fingers together, trying to keep his nerves under control. He focuses on his own breath and pumping heart. "So you took my journal?" Levi cranes his neck and meets Hangi's gaze. Glaciers come crashing into a hazel abyss. "I have no idea about any journal, but apparently, I don't need to read it to know you have feelings for him." Resting his temples in his upright hands, Levi asks, "When did you figure it out? And how?" Hangi sighs, softly smiling as she leans forward and cradles her distraught comrade.

"The distant stares; the breathy sighs; the ooze in your voice when you say his name. . . All a giveaway. A week after the hearing is when I noticed, and right now is when I've had it confirmed." A gentle hand strokes his distant shoulder. "Have you conspired with anyone else?"

"No." Thank god. Hangi and a stranger may know his secret, but at least it was only those two and not more. While Levi didn't like her having his secret, he was relieved to finally have someone he could talk about it with. So many nights he'd spent in silence although he was bursting at the seams with worries and hopes and all those fantasies you typically tell a friend. But homosexuality has been a taboo for centuries, and Levi couldn't fathom how the reaction to his reveal would be. Being kept in the closet is misery, but coming out is terrifying.

"Well, if you can keep your mouth shut, then maybe they can too." Maybe. Hopefully. Probably not. "They who?" she inquires, turning to face Levi."It's not important." The captain burrows back under her chin, back into her comforting embrace. He holds his breath before releasing it loudly, followed by a groan. "Why did it have to be Eren? Out of all the people inside these walls, why Eren?"

"It's simple science really." Hangi takes in a long, deep breath. "We often associate love with the heart, but the true magic takes place in the brain. The brain of someone in love looks very similar to one on opium. Opium acts on the pleasure centers of the brain, which means lowering the threshold at which they fire. Therefore you feel good a lot easier. We see the same thing in the brains of those in love. But it's not just the opium or love that makes you feel good, it's the fact that anything you experience will set of pleasure centers and make you feel good.

This is caused by the release of dopamine and norepinephrine. In the lower region of the brain. This not only causes sexual arousal but also is responsible for your racing heart. As well as the motivation, craving, and desire to be with the person more and more. So love is not only an emotion, it is a drive from the motor of the mind. And this motor brings about intense energy, focused attention, and elation. The pleasure centers are part of the brain's reward system. The Mesolimbic Dopamine System. In fact, if you stimulate this region while learning, learning becomes much easier because it's pleasurable and seen as a reward. And I love to learn." A chuckle follows that last bit. Why?

"We also see a surge in the neuromodulator oxytocin from the nucleus accumbens. Sometimes called the "commitment neuro-modulator" because it helps to reinforce bonding or attachment.

Also, people in love show to have low levels of serotonin. Which is similar to people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This is likely the cause of your obsession or infatuation during early love. Amazingly these areas fueling intense romantic love can stay active for decades. But while there are many physiological and psychological components thrown into the mix, science still can't truly explain what love is or how exactly it works." That was very simple indeed. Hangi gulps down air, having used it all for Hangi's Crash Course On Love. She throws her head over the chair's and stretches, allowing herself to go limp. "Yet we all know the feeling." That part she says wistfully.

Levi's attention is caught. He studies her for a moment, her features softening as those hazel eyes roll back to him. This brunette leans in again, not pressing Levi to her chest, but to her lips. He is paralyzed, unable to move. Hangi meshes their mouth gently, taking in the scene slowly. Her inky scent makes itself known as it intensifies. In this moment, most men would have a bulge in their pants or would take her in the same manner. Levi is not most men.

Yes, soft kisses would be amazing, but only if they were from Eren. Of course, his pants' zipper has been strained a few times, but only because of Eren. And sure, he could take Hangi, thrust his tongue into her mouth, make her moan and whimper, but he doesn't want to. Not with her. Only with Eren.

Hangi pulls away, a puzzled and panicked expression mixed and plastered on her face. "I'm sorry. I just. . . Forget that ever happened." Guilt begins eating at Levi like a titan. He rubs her back saying, "It's all right. But Hangi. . . You understand I'm gay. Don't you?"

"Yes. I've just felt this way for a while and . . . Ugh. . . Like I said, forget about it. Please." Levi wraps his arms around her, holding her tightly. He places a quick kiss on her forehead. "You are my best friend, Hangi. Thank you for always being by my side when things are hard. And thank you for always trying to understand me when others didn't."

"Well, if there's one thing I've learned it's: If you meet a weirdo, never let them go." Tears begin rolling down her heated cheeks, some stopping against her glasses. Bubbly laughter pops from her as Levi let's go and retreats towards the exit. "Goodnight, four-eyes."

"Goodnight, short stuff."


	3. We're Crazy

LEVI LEAVES WITH A WARM content feeling caressing his chest. Gentle waves of milk and honey over rocky terrain. Those seas don't stay quiet for long, and as Levi nears Eren's room a storm is brewing beneath his skin. It's past lights out and Levi prays to each and every deity- false or not- that Eren will be fast asleep. He passes the door, nearly tiptoeing, and when he reaches his own room Levi is shocked to find the journal resting on his nightstand. His body is already in pursuit of the book before his consciousness can process the thought.

Fingers trembling, cold sweat reciprocating, Levi takes the journal and opens to the first page. Little notes- written in much messier of penmanship- have been scribbled in the spaces between his paragraphs.

_**You are quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to me. No. Not possibly. Absolutely.** _

**You're such a sap**.

And a few pages later.

_**Damn you for being so adorable, Eren.** _

**I can't help it, but if I stop being adorable, then you have to stop being so ruggedly handsome.**

More and more add-ons followed until Levi left the pages blank and it was all Eren.

**I've never been great with words, but that's all right because I trust that you understand what I mean; what I'm trying to say.**

**The most important person in your life will not appear calmly. They'll make you rethink your reality. Make you question who you are. Test the limits of what you can do. But they'll also help you to become all that you can be. And if that includes pain, and it will, they will be there beside you.**

The captain reads every page and rereads some until his callous fingers brush the very last page, and his eyes run across the very last sentence.

**You're more me than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same.**

Levi curls into his blankets, smiling like a fool, but he doesn't care. In his soul it's as if the sun is shining, the walls and titans have disappeared, it's summer, and Eren's hand is clasped in his. The breeze blows away any worries. The scent of roses and sea salt tickle his nose. Everything is right with the world and laid before them is endless possibilities.

EREN LIES AWAKE, his mind too flustered to rest and stomach too twisted to lie in any other position but on his back. The lights in the room have all been silenced, leaving the moon to outline the furniture luminously. Minutes ago he had heard his captain walking down the hall and knew by now he was either reading or had read his additions to the journal. Now Eren patiently waited for either acceptance or a chance at repentance.

As the seconds ticked by Eren's regret and guilt oozed and flooded deeper into his bloodstream. Taking the captain's journal was a mistake. I shouldn't have been invading his personal belongings. I bet my right arm- not that it matters if I lost it- he's brimming with fury. But if we had waited until we were ready for this, he and I would have waited our entire lives. This was the push we both needed. At least I hope so.

Levi bursts through the door and then quickly shuts and locks it before placing himself in Eren's embrace. And Eren finally commits the act he's been pining to for so long. He plants a big, fat wet one, right Levi's lips. "Eren, I love you."

"I love you too."

There's no pause. No hesitation when they speak. Between them is nothing, except heated, intoxicating breaths. Their gazes lock, both out of things to say. What could they say that they hadn't read? That they didn't already know? Know deeply to the bone.

Eren carefully maneuvers them to his bed, never breaking the contact their lips have. Levi's knees hit the edge of the mattress. Eren jumps on top of him to straddle his waist. Levi grips his hips, holding him in place. And damn, he loves the view.

"You think you can top, Eren?"

"I know I can, Levi. After all, I'm bigger than you."

"Sure about that?" Levi arches his hips to show him just how much bigger he is. Eren moans, his smile quick to return. Laughing, Eren braces his palms at Levi's temples. "So . . . does this mean we're together?" Slowly, Levi raises the hem of Eren's shirt, feeling, caressing the hot skin. He rakes his nails down Eren's chest. "Now and forever. I'll hear no arguments." The brunette smirks, not trying hard to hide his glee. "What about complaints?"

"You talk too much, Eren. Let's put our mouths to better use."

Eren presses his lips against his, and Levi doesn't just return the kiss, he pours himself into, giving Eren every part of him, nothing held back. Eren tastes so good, and he's so warm, so tantalizingly warm, my need for him is becoming frenzied. Levi runs his hands over Eren, desperate to touch him, all of him.

But. Yes. There's a but.

With a purr, I lurch back. "Tell me, Levi. . . what would you like me to do? Whatever it is, I'll do." Captain Levi has had so much pain in his life, and I want to replace it all with pleasure. I want to give him a love he's never known. A love he will never regret.

"Eren. . ." As he studies me and the markings across my chest, Eren's expression is luminous. "I want you to know that everything I wrote in the journal is true. Not a single word is doubted. I mean it all."

"I do too."

"And what I want you to do is kiss me. Kiss me and never stop."

"I can do that." He swoops in for another kiss, and what begins as a sweet communion turns into a feral feeding. I can't get enough of his mouth, his tongue or his teeth.

Can't get enough of him.

Eren whisks the shirt over Levi's head and looks him over. "You're too perfect," he rasps because it's so true. "There's nothing about you that could be changed for the better."

"Eren." A curse. A plea. "Less talking." Eren straightens to kick off his socks and strip. When he crawls back over Levi, he accepts Eren's weights with a sexy moan. They rub against each other, creating heated, magnificent friction. "Please, Eren," he gasps. "More." Eren grinds against him with more force before pulling off Levi's remaining clothing.

"Eren," followed by another gasp. "I love when you say my name."

"I love saying it." Levi glides his tongue over Eren's lips then adds huskily, "I love the taste of it." The look Levi gives the brunette is a little wicked and wanton- and a lot dirty.

Eren kisses Levi from mouth to ankle and everywhere in between until he's intoxicated by all things Levi. The sweetness of his scent, the silk of his skin, the cute sounds he makes when Eren does something he really enjoys. Sometimes Levi pauses himself and Eren just to peer into his eyes, to convince himself that this is real and not another nightmare dressed as a sweet dream.

It's not long before Levi is begging Eren incoherently, a sharp sheen of sweat on his brow. But only when Levi is quivering and begging for release does Eren brace an arm at his temple and trail the other down-

"Oh," Levi gasps. "It's . . . That's. . . amazing."

"I'm just getting started." Eren plays with his captain a bit more, taking his time preparing him for what's to come. Not only physically, but emotionally. As Eren touches Levi, he tells him how important he is to him. He tells Levi how beautiful he is, and how his life would have ended without him. Soon, Levi is once again in need and begging. . . and Eren is on the verge of losing control. "Condom," Eren tells Levi as leans over to grab one from the nightstand. He's shaking.

As Eren rolls on the latex, Levi nips at his mouth. He sucks on his neck and claws at his back. "The way you make me feel, Levi. . ."

"I know. You make me feel the same. Look at me."

Their gazes meet without hesitation. Levi holds the stare. He wants Eren to know that he is here with him. He's not thinking of anyone else. Just the two of them in this bed. "Eren," he whispers. "Now."

Yes.

Now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about every 20 kudos I post a journal excerpt?


End file.
